Divorce, the Children, and the Questions They Want to Ask

The end of a marriage does not affect just the couple — the kids experience the ripple effect as well.

Children of all ages also fall victim to the impact of your divorce. It’s hard for them to accept the fact that Mom and Dad must now go their separate ways. As their parent, it’s natural to want to protect them from the pain. Some divorcees feel that their kids are better off not knowing the delicate details about the separation.

For most of Rio Rancho’s divorce lawyers, divorce talks with the kids need to be age-appropriate and require sensitivity. This, however, doesn’t hide the fact that they need a way to express their questions. Kids have them; they’re just afraid to ask.

Here are some of the questions you’ll need answers to:

“Is It My Fault?”

Kids are quick to blame themselves for their parents’ ordeal. They do so for two reasons: they think they could’ve done something about it or they can’t blame the parents because of their dependence. Either way, most of them wonder if their disobedience or lack of care for the family had something to do with the divorce.

Children need assurance that it’s not their fault. By addressing their feelings, you guarantee that they have no part in the separation — it’s just another chapter of your lives.

“Should I Pick Sides?”

Unfortunately, most divorces come with cases of blame and parental alienation. Since the kids are stuck in the middle, they feel as if both parents want them to take sides. While this shouldn’t be the case, some parents end up forcing their children to choose.

Kids are observant and perceptive; if they see one parent forcing them to choose, they will. Instead of keeping them in the middle, it’s best to address the issue. They don’t have to choose; they can still have both Mom and Dad after the divorce.

Children of divorce want to feel safe and loved. As their parent, it’s your responsibility to care for their feelings by encouraging a talk. Not only will it help them heal, it will also forge a stronger bond despite the situation.