Gray Divorce: The Sad Reality of Growing Old and Growing Apart

Gray Divorce: The Sad Reality of Growing Old and Growing Apart

gray divorceThe thing is, it’s easy to think you’ve got it all when you’ve found someone you love, are married to them, have a family, and raise children that grow to become beautiful, successful, and happy individuals. For a moment, you may think you’ve won at life. But what happens when your children are off to build families of their own? What else in life is waiting for you?

A recent report identified nearly 1 in 10 people currently going through the process of filing a divorce in the U.S. is over 60. Most of them are empty nesters, couples who are done with their joint-project of raising children and harnessing their potential. These are the couples who, after everything, realize that’s all they get, it’s all their bond is made for, and decide to walk separate ways.

No Fault Divorce

No fault divorce is available in every state now, which allows couples to part ways amicably, since it frees them from the danger of blame and finger pointing. Divorce lawyers, like those from, along with other legal counsels, however, don’t think no fault divorce has a direct link with the uptick in gray divorce.

To legal experts, the dynamics of no fault divorce and the apparent boom in elderly divorce are both part of the same reshaping of marriage we’ve all been working on for decades. As if following the trend of individualization, marriage is also now more individualized. It is less about being one, and more towards accepting how it is a bond between two equally different people.

Love and Endings

Years ago, sociologists believed education can protect a marriage from divorce. While it still holds true for married couples around and under thirty, the rule doesn’t apply for people older than 50. Love ages. A decade after your wedding, your priority is to love each other. Two decades after, your priority is to love your children. Another decade after, you have to grant yourself the same love you’ve given.

Gray divorce now is an acceptable solution. Majority of elderly divorce did not even witness severe discord. It’s not that you turned ugly and the relationship is unbearable anymore. It’s just the quiet truth of growing apart, of a bond in dissolution. Neither is at fault. You’ve both accomplished your goals. You raised a beautiful family, and you lived a beautiful life. In the end, it’s all that matters.


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